The driving force of fun

For more than 25 years I have been designing, developing and, most importantly, implementing coaching and training programmes for school and college-going youth (a significant percentage of them being certification courses). Early in every workshop, I pose a question to participants: “How many of you think sport should be a fun experience?” Almost universally, they raise their hands in affirmation. Then I say, “Let me make you an offer. If any of you can give me a good definition of fun, I’ll sign your certification card and you’ll be on your way.” After nearly 12 years of making this offer, I still have to get a satisfactory answer.

In study after study over the years (e.g Institute of Sports at Michigan State University, 1980, Athletic Footwear Association Survey 1990, KidsFirst.com), fun is offered as the prime reason for playing games and sports. The three top reasons advanced for sports participation in all these studies were remarkably consistent: (1) to have fun, (2) to be with friends and make new friends, and (3) to improve athletic ability and learn new skills. The motivation “to win” was usually ranked 10-13. Moreover these studies also indicated that one-third of youth, children and adolescents dropped out from all sports activity each year, and by the age of 13, anywhere from 70-80 percent quit playing. The three top reasons cited for quitting sports were: (1) no fun, (2) too much pressure and (3) too much emphasis on winning.

Everyone extols fun as essential to the sports experience of kids — even of parents. But seldom, if ever, do parents evaluate what fun really means. After wrestling with this question for many years, I offer the following definition of fun in sports. Games and sports are fun for children and youth when:

They are deeply involved in what they are doing. A young child hammering away at her piano, working hard to follow the teacher’s lead is not laughing or giggling, but is clearly into the activity, enjoying herself. She isn’t — or shouldn’t be — wishing she was somewhere else. When children are content with a new uniform, repeatedly throwing a ball,  swinging a bat, stick or racquet, or scoring goals or baskets, enjoying the present — not wishing to be somewhere else — they are having fun.

They are closely connected to other people in the flow of play. Like adults, children too have a fundamental need to connect with other people. Involvement with sports and games fosters bonding, builds team spirit and a sense of community and connectivity.

Children who are left out and not included in sports teams and communities can suffer a great deal. Picture your son or daughter standing alone by the basketball court after school, when other children are shooting hoops. If you ask your child why she hasn’t joined the others in play, she’ll most likely say she doesn’t feel like it. But the truth is that she has been excluded and her feelings are hurt. If kids aren’t included in play of their chosen sport, they may lose their motivation to persist.

They have the opportunity to be the best they can be! Kids don’t have to be the best; mostly they just want an opportunity to pursue their dreams, to reach their potential and to be the best they can be. Tom Kuyper, a sportswriter for the Arizona Republic, tells the story of a young, close-to-obese girl, which should remind us that sports at its finest is about doing one’s best. Kuyper was watching a gymnastics competition when he observed this girl on the balance beam and predicted that this overweight girl would fail in a flood of tears.

But Kuyper finished his story by describing how wrong he had been! “They were hugging and slapping five and smiling. I thought it was the worst routine I have ever seen on the balance beam. But they were both (coach and athlete) acting like she scored a perfect 10 in the Olympics. Then I got it! It is all about affirmation. Kids need affirmation. It wasn’t about winning; it was about doing her best.”

So what can parents do to make sports real fun for kids? Here are some suggestions: • Let your kids’ dreams be their own • Be sensitive. Listen carefully to what your kids say about their extra-curricular dreams • When reviewing a game with your kids, focus on the part they (not you) enjoyed • Praise the effort, not the outcome • Maintain realistic expectations • Remain positive. Avoid criticising coaches, your child’s or teammates’ performance • Look for coaches who want kids to have fun • Bear in mind that kids at different ages have different needs • Make time for free, unstructured play and family activities • Focus on teaching life skills and allow your child to be involved in decision making about sports participation • Get to know your child’s friends on the team.

Parents and coaches should never forget that the driving force behind engagement with sports is to have fun. However having fun also requires focus, goals, feedback and a sense of control. So when sportsmen and athletes experience fun on playing fields and in sports arenas and enjoy the sheer exhilaration of participation, their performance will inevitably improve, they will respond to coaches and contribute to the team.

(Dr. George Selleck is a Los Angeles-based advisor to SportzVillage, Bangalore)