Connecting through sports and games

As I approach my 75th birthday, I am often asked why I continue to conduct workshops, make presentations, do radio shows, give television interviews and travel more than 12,000 miles per month, instead of spending my time out on the golf course as most people my age seem to be doing. I sometimes ask myself the same question.

The answer is simple: I reckon if I fail to make an effort to share the wonderful things I have learned about how sports can enrich our lives, I will have wasted the opportunity to improve the lives of thousands of children and their families. They will be denied the chance to learn the joy that games and sport can bring to their lives.

Unfortunately, pleasant sports experiences are getting harder and harder to come by these days. For example, if your experience has been mostly of televised sports competitions, you may be put-off, as I am, by the increasingly edgy, in-your-face, contentious and confrontational character of contemporary sport. I always advise parents and school/college managements to seek refreshing and healthy sports experiences for students — fulfilling experiences comprising  care, consideration, and cooperation.

Of course, some people might argue that because we live in an edgy, confront-ational and competitive world, our children need to learn how to survive in a winner-takes-all enviro-nment. The general belief is that the more aggressive the sport, the better life skills learnt.

While struggling to respond to this line of argument, I had to ask myself, “What are sports all about, anyway?” Are they really about determining who is best? I don’t think so. In my opinion, the major function of sports and physical activity in general is to renew the human spirit. Sport must become a sanctuary from the trials and tribulations of everyday life — an opportunity to take a break from our daily struggles and challenges, experience adrenaline rush and enjoy the experience of connecting with others. It never ceases to amaze me how bloodthirsty some participants — both athletes and fans — have become, and while I don’t have a right to dictate other people’s tastes, it is my experience that too often the most unpleasant things happen to kids, coaches and parents when sport becomes hyper-competitive and contentious.

I do believe that when parents, teachers, coaches and educators carefully examine the values and opportunities that an expanded, balanced, and carefully thought-out physical activities/sports programme offers children and youth, they will realise that there is a definite return on their investment in these activities.

As the author or co-author of three books on sports parenting (Raising a Good Sport in an In-Your-Face World; From the Bleachers with Love: Advice to Parents with Kids in Sports; and Beyond the Bleachers: The Art of Parenting Today’s Athletes), I am convinced that carefully crafted conversations between parents and children, and between teachers, coaches, educators and students can help the latter not just enjoy the thrill of chasing a soccer ball or shooting baskets, but will also help them acquire healthy attitudes and vital skills that will benefit them throughout their lives. Life skills that can be learned from sustained participation and involvement with sports include:

• Learning about setting goals, discipline, team spirit, etc

• Learning to be magnanimous in victory, gracious in defeat, and accepting of human frailties

• Developing a broader perspective on sport that encourages unconventional, outside-the-box thinking when confronted with challenges in the workplace and at home

In our daily lives the risk of failure is constant. Sports help individuals to accept risk and rectify consequential mistakes, and offer valuable first-hand experience of negotiating obstacles life can put in your path. By participating in games and sports we learn to accept challenges, put in that extra effort and learn to vault over obstacles. That’s why sports and games are widely acclaimed by educators as skills development and character building activities.

In addition, games and sports serve as a powerful draw for family bonding and as community rallying points. Joyful participation provides good opportunities for bridging the gap between young and not-so-young, rich and poor, black, brown and white, male and female. Sports’ connective possibilities have been well-documented in film and in print. Government and society must expand and improve the reach of all sports so that everyone can participate. What better way for counteracting the many negative influences in our children’s lives, and ensuring that members of every society remain connected with each other!