Sports Education

Building a sports community
 
An enabling sports community is important for every child’s extra-curricular education. A sports community comprises coaches, schools, parents, children and associated people who can help your child acquire a meaningful sports education. For the community to be effective, it is vital that each member has a good relationship with other members of the sports community. This will ensure the community remains active and vibrant over a long period of time and provides the support children require.

How would you describe your relationship with other members of your sports community? Are you on a first-name basis with everyone? Do you know about their backgrounds, where they work and where they come from? Can you talk to them about the concerns you might have? Do you feel that they can support you and your child, and vice versa?

The relationships you establish with others are crucial. When you invest in networking with members of your sports community, you ensure your child has people other than yourself upon whom she can rely when confronted with the inevitable challenges and setbacks that are part and parcel of sporting activity.

Relationships are based on several imperatives. First and foremost, there needs to be mutual trust. Individuals in your sports community need to feel that you care about them and are genuinely interested in what is best for them. They need to feel they are welcome, and assured that the community will rise to the occasion when needed. They need to feel connected to others in the community.

To establish a mutually supportive sports community, you start by building rapport. If you’re unable to establish a solid rapport with people, whatever follows — praise, criticism or advice — is unlikely to be accepted.

Building rapport starts with warm eye contact even before the first word is spoken, a good letter before an appointment is made, or proper handling of the first phone call. These preliminary exchanges build subsequent contacts. For example:

• It is your child’s first baseball practice. You decide to stay and watch, as do some other parents — all of them strangers to you. As you stake out your spot on the grass, do you:

(a) Avoid awkwardness by immediately pulling out a book to read?

(b) Look at parents as they arrive and give him or her a smile and a wave?

• Your child had a bad experience with her previous coach. To avoid a similar situation this year, you decide to meet with your child’s new coach before the season starts. In your letter requesting an appointment you say:

(a) I am extremely busy, so I would appreciate if you would call my secretary to schedule a time when we could meet.

(b) I’m sure you’re extremely busy. I could meet with you on the following dates and times. I will call you at the beginning of the week to see if any of these work for you.

• You’ve been given the assignment of calling parents to ask if they can work in the snack bar. How do you begin your conversation?

(a) "Hi, this is so-and-so. I’m calling the parents to see who would like to work in the snack bar this Saturday. I’ve got you scheduled for the first half-hour. Is that okay?"

(b) "Hi, this is so-and-so. I’m so happy to finally get to talk to you — I’ve wanted to tell you how much I enjoy watching your son/ daughter play. She is such an enthusiastic/ happy/ skillful/ hard-working player that it’s a joy to watch her. Anyway, I’m calling parents to see who would like to help in the snack bar this Saturday. I hear we get free popcorn if we do! Do you think you’d be able to help out during the first half-hour?

If you answered ‘b’ to all of the above, you are someone who understands how to start off on the right foot in your relationship with others.

As your relationships with others in your sports community develop, remember to be understanding of setbacks and allow people to warm up at their own pace. The payoff is that when you build relationships in the right way for the right reasons, you will be able to accomplish your goal of creating a strong community spirit, with less effort, and more enjoyment.

• How well do you currently know the other people in your sports community, and is there someone you’d like to get to know better?

• Do you go out of your way to establish relationships with others or do you wait for them to make the first move?

• How would you rate your ability to establish rapport? What skills do you need to work on?

• Do you know someone who is good at building rapport? What attributes can you imbibe from this person?

(Dr. George Selleck is a California-based sports psychologist and advisor to Sportz Village, Bangalore)