Like bees, humans have long lived or died based on their ability to divide labor, help each other and stand together in the face of common threats — David Brooks, New York Times
If there is a common threat that confronts us all, it’s that we live in a world that has become increasingly individualistic, competitive, and contentious. But in recent years there’s been growing awareness that we need to see beyond the limitations of raw, in-your-face competition between groups and nations and learn the value of cooperation. There’s an emerging consensus that the problems of the 21st century (global warming, the economic crisis, disease, poverty, etc) can only be solved through cooperation and collaboration.
Therefore together with EduSports, a Bangalore-based sports advisory and consultancy company, I have devised a programme for parents titled, ‘Making the perfect team: How to help your kids use sports to succeed in school and life’. This programme has been developed to help parents collaborate with schools, coaches, and others to enable their children to engage with sports and games and transform into healthy, happy, productive adults.
For example, the progra-mme offers useful advice relating to the sports education of children. Some pointers:
• Identify and grab teaching and learning moments in sports
• Develop realistic expect-ations for your kids (in sports and life)
• Support your kids, their coaches, teachers, and school
• Evolve into role models
• Don’t live vicariously through the success of your children
• Relax and enjoy your children’s accomplishments
• Become your children’s mentor and cheerleader
• Promote the values you want your kids to adopt in the school’s physical education and sports programmes
• Don’t regard your children as extensions of yourself
• Develop a relaxed, playful spirit in relation to sports
• Articulate your ideas of good sportspersons
Yet how should parents prepare themselves to become good sports parents? It’s beneficial to solicit help from the growing number of sports education and advisory firms. They usually conduct parent workshops where you can learn about ways and means to intelligently support your children to get the most out of their games and sports experiences. Professional sports develo-pment advisories and academies are often engaged by schools, colleges etc, to hold workshops for parents. In these workshops they counsel parents to:
Be reflective. The best parents — not only in sports arenas, but in life — are introspective and willing to think deeply about their role as parents. Most of us would benefit by making the time to review how we handled a certain issue or problem with our kids to become better parents tomorrow.
Focus on long-term goals. It’s useful to identify and bear in mind your long-term objectives for your children. Search for words or phrases which describe them as you would want them to be when they attain adulthood. Then assess whether your daily behaviour is helpful for your kids to grow into the kind of people you’d like them to be.
Put the relationship first. There’s no overstating the importance of the relationship that parents build with their children. To develop and sustain a good relationship with your children, remember that being right isn’t as important as being caring and supportive.
Bear your child’s age in mind. A five-year-old operates differently than a 15-year-old. Therefore it’s important to remember that solutions and strategies that work with one, might not work with the other.
Don’t be too quick to prohibit. Driven by concern that permissiveness is running rampant, most parents tend to deny ordinary freedoms to children. Studies have revealed that young children in particular are irrationally prevented from doing things they want to do, or made to do things they’d rather not, literally every few minutes.
Be flexible. Adamant consistency is tantamount to ineffective partnering. While it’s true that children fare better when there’s a degree of predictability in their lives, it’s easy to overdo this and overlook the fact that children may have their own needs and priorities that they have set for themselves.
Don’t always be in a rush. Resist the temptation to rush your kids whenever possible, whether it’s with their homework, music practice or sports drill. Slow down, enjoy all activities with your children, and enable them to savour their experiences on-field and off.
Remember, nobody can succeed entirely through their own efforts. Therefore don’t hesitate to call in professionals who can help you and your children to excel enjoyably on the sports stage — and in life.
(Dr. George Selleck is a San Francisco-based advisor to SportzVillage, Bangalore)